Can you coach yourself? How do you do it?
Self-coaching compliments 1:1 coaching and can make a big difference in the results you get, leading to deeper and more lasting change.
That's why sharing self-coaching tools and strategies is part of my coaching practice.
5 truths I've learned and share as part of self-coaching:
1. Not all of your thoughts are true
2. You can change your thoughts and beliefs
3. Circumstances don't have inherit meaning, you determine their meaning
4. Feelings are data, they aren't valid or invalid, and they're not permanent
5. You're responsible for own life and happiness
Coaching is about questioning your current thoughts and beliefs in order to change how you respond to different situations, and this can be done on your own as well as in one on one sessions or group coaching sessions.
How do we question our thoughts and beliefs?
First, mindfulness. We have to notice our thoughts, we have to pay attention. It's easy to just stay on autopilot and just stick with our automatic thoughts, but so much of the time they're not true or useful.
One of the best ways to start to notice our thoughts is to notice our feelings, because our feelings are caused by our thoughts.
This is how it might play out:
Identify the feeling: I feel stressed and anxious as I anticipate having a meeting with my boss.
Identify the thought: My boss just booked a last minute meeting and is going to give me negative feedback. It's going to be an uncomfortable conversation.
Question the thought: What evidence do I have that what I believe is actually true? Do I know for certain that the worst will happen? Is there another possible explanation for that person’s behavior that isn’t about me? Am I confusing a thought with a fact? Am I falling into a thinking trap/cognitive distortion (e.g., catastrophizing, mind reading, fortune telling, etc.)?
Change the thought: I don't know what my boss is going to say, if it's constructive feedback, it's not personal, I can take any feedback and learn from it. I value feedback, if I don't agree with it, I'll ask questions. No matter what this conversation is, I can approach it with an open mind and learn from what my boss shares. I can let my boss know I prefer to have some notice and an agenda before a meeting so I can be prepared.
What are your thoughts on self-coaching?
What impact do you think self-coaching could have on how you show up at work?
🙋♀️ Hey there! I’m Gill, I'm a certified Leadership and Performance Coach. I partner with people who want to turn off autopilot and craft their career on their terms.
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