Empowering Clear Communication: Strategies for Neurodivergent Individuals

Gillian Forth
Jul 23
3 min read

Updated: Aug 6

1. Use a Formulaic Structure (like a script cheat sheet)

When you want to ask for something, consider using this simple formula:

"I need [thing] because [brief reason]. Would you be open to [action/response]?"

Example:

"I need to move our meeting to Thursday because I’m dealing with sensory burnout today. Would that work for you?"

Keep it to one sentence per idea. Write it down first if needed. Then stop. (Yes, even if you want to explain everything.)

2. Stick to 3 Parts: Context → Need → Ask

Break your thought into three quick pieces:

Context (what’s happening)
Need/Feeling (what you’re needing, feeling, or thinking)
Ask/Action (what you want them to do)

Example:

"Hey, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed this week (context). I need a bit more time to regroup (need). Can we move the deadline to Monday? (ask)"

3. Use “I’m keeping this short but happy to elaborate if helpful.”

This gives you a natural stop point and opens the door for questions without spiraling. You can always info-dump if invited.

4. When your brain wants to say everything at once, try this:

Before you speak, ask yourself:

“What’s the one thing I want this person to understand or do?”
“What would I say if I only had 30 seconds?”

Practice saying just that. Let silence do the heavy lifting. It’s powerful.

5. Structure Written Communication with Bullet Points or Headings

It’s okay to be wordy if it’s organized. Write like this:

Hi [Name],

Here’s what I’m thinking:

The situation: [brief description]
My concern/need: [what you’re thinking or worried about]
What I’m proposing: [the ask]

Let me know what you think! This makes your long message digestible and allows the receiver to scan it. It also helps you see if you’re rambling or repeating yourself.

6. Start Conversations with Intention

Instead of launching into background, start with:

“Can I run something by you real quick?”

“I have a small request—can I share it with you?”

“I’m not sure how to phrase this, but I want to ask for something—can you bear with me?”

This signals the purpose of the conversation early and grounds you both.

7. Use Sticky Phrases to Stay Concise

Try memorizing and using phrases like:

“The short version is…”
“What I need right now is…”
“Let me pause here in case that’s already too much.”
“Here’s the core of what I’m trying to say…”

These act like verbal bookmarks and boundary markers for both your brain and the listener.

🧠 Strategies for Clear Communication (for AuDHD brains): Tools That Help

🗣️ Spoken Communication:

Voice Notes → Text Drafts: Record your request or thought, then listen back and pull out the core sentence.
Scripts App / Notes App: Save sentence starters and conversation templates so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.
Practice with a buddy or mirror: Rehearse brief versions of your asks. Train your nervous system to say less.

✍️ Written Communication:

Grammarly / Hemingway App: These help trim your writing and flag over-explaining.
TextExpander / Snippets app: Pre-save phrases or structures you often use so you can just plug and play.
Email templates folder: Draft reusable templates for common requests like rescheduling, clarifying expectations, asking for help, etc.

🧭 Bonus: Self-Reg Tips for Communicating While Dysregulated

Wait 10 minutes before hitting send or speaking, especially if you’re emotional or scattered.
Breathe before you speak. Literally one breath in and out can buy you time to center yourself.
Ask for grace upfront. “I’m a little all over the place today—thank you for your patience.”

Conclusion: Embrace Your Unique Communication Style

Navigating communication can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to express your needs clearly. Remember, it’s okay to take your time. You’re not alone in this journey. Embrace your unique style and find what works best for you.

By using these strategies, you can empower yourself to communicate more effectively. Whether it’s in a professional setting or personal interactions, clear communication can lead to better understanding and connection.

So, what do you think? Are you ready to give these techniques a try? I believe in you!