Done Is Better Than Perfect, But Have You Tried Crying First?

Oof—perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking can really dig their heels in, especially for ADHDers (and also for people socialized in high-achievement, urgency-driven, or high-stakes environments). Interrupting these patterns takes gentleness, awareness, and the right kinds of interruptions.

Here’s a bunch of ways to start loosening the grip of perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking:

🧠 MINDSET INTERRUPTS

1. Name the Voice Give your perfectionist inner critic a name or persona—like “The High Standards Goblin” or “Bossy Becky.” Naming it creates separation: “Oh, that’s just Bossy Becky again.”

2. Redefine “Done” Try asking, “What does ‘good enough’ look like for today?” or “If this was 80% of my best, what would that look like?” Reframing from perfect to purposeful helps unhook the pressure.

3. Practice the Gray When your brain says “I have to do all of this or I’ve failed,” try finishing the sentence: “...Or I could just do 10% and that would still be worth it because ___.” This cracks open binary thinking.

💡 PRACTICAL INTERRUPTS

4. Micro-Tasks Break things down painfully small. Not “write the report,” but “open the doc,” “write the title,” “type one sentence.” Success builds momentum, and momentum is motivation.

5. Timers + Quotas Set a timer for a tiny window (like 7–10 minutes) and give yourself permission to stop afterward. The goal is starting, not completing.

6. Low-Energy Options List Make a list of “bare minimum” versions of tasks you can do when you’re in a perfectionist freeze. (e.g., “Text back with one emoji instead of a whole thoughtful paragraph.”)

💖 COMPASSION INTERRUPTS

7. Notice the Fear Perfectionism usually protects something—fear of judgment, failure, rejection, or not being “enough.” Ask yourself gently, “What feels scary right now? What am I afraid will happen if this isn’t perfect?”

8. Use Kind Self-Talk Try, “It’s okay to be messy. Messy still moves me forward.” Or, “Done is kinder than perfect.” Or even, “Some progress is still progress.”

9. Self-Check Questions Ask:

   • What’s the smallest next step I can take right now?

   • What would I tell a friend in this situation?

   • Am I catastrophizing or predicting doom?

   • Can I allow myself to just be “human” today?